The first screen review.
Buyers give an unknown company a few seconds and two screens. Send one page, and we read those two screens the way a buyer does, score them, and send back what to fix first.
What a buyer decides in the first two screens.
Every check comes from the way buyers read, and every one gets a pass or a fix.
Can a stranger name what you sell from the headline alone?
Is the buyer named on the first screen, so the right person knows it is for them?
Does the headline lead with what changes for the buyer, or with the product?
Could a competitor paste your headline onto their site unchanged?
Does the page say why you, over a spreadsheet, the status quo, or the name they already know?
Is there a number, a logo or a named quote in the first two screens, and does it hold up?
Is there one clear next step, worded as the next step of the headline's promise?
Does the visual show the product or the result, and does it read at phone width?
Your homepage or one landing page, one line on who the buyer is, and the two alternatives they would otherwise pick.
The first two screens, scored against the eight checks, with one line quoted from your page for each.
The scorecard, the weakest check first, one rewritten first screen (headline, line under it, next step), and one line on what the review left out.
Send the page.
Email the address of the page, who buys from you, and the two alternatives they would otherwise choose.
What changed this week, and what it means for you.
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